Black Women vs Black Women
I don't think I'm the only one that experiences this, but I have to now question out loud why there is this air of hostility between black women who don't even know each other in public? Here is what I'm talking about....
I can get on a bus, train, walk into a store, or just pass by a sister on the street, and when our eyes meet, there's this mean, hard, nasty look directed at me.... like it's a challenge. There's pure hostility in the eyes of this stranger, another black woman just like me, who doesn't even know my name, but from those daggers she's shooting, you'd think we had some type of violent history and were sworn enemies. Now, I need to say, this is not the case with all sisters out there, but with enough of them to have me here talking about it. This is something I've experienced for YEARS.
Like today...I go to get on the M60 bus, and as I step on and glance at people I'm passing in the aisle, my eyes meet with those of three different black women...and there's that same mean, hard look as they look back at me...and it's like WHOA! As many times as I've experienced this, today it really made me think. Why are sisters so hostile towards each other? Is it just a New York thing? I can also tell you that sometimes when I sit across from a group of BW on the train or bus, this shit starts... where they start talking about me, my hair, my clothes, my shoes...and just loud enough for me to hear it, and I'm like WTF?? What the f* is this? Once again, something I've experienced innumerable times. Other black women have told me similar stories.
So. I just have to ask...is your insecurity really that deep? I don't get it, and another thing I observe is that white women don't do this shit to each other. White females ride the bus, train, walk down the street, go about their business and barely pay attention when another WW is in their presence. It's a non event. They're busy reading their book, playing with their Blackberry or staring off into space. I don't see these dagger looks pass between them, and even when a group of them are together, I don't see them singling out some lone chick on the train to try to start some shit with.
What's up with this, sistas? And you KNOW who you are, the ones that engage in this type of behavior. What's up with the constant hostile rivalry? The looks? The comments? What are you really trying to prove?
Why do we treat each other this way? I really don't get it. This is one reason why I won't live in a black neighborhood. I know I'd be fighting silly bitches from sunup to sundown. On one side, I'm dealing with the disrespectful guys harassing, catcalling and talking about my ass every time I walk down the street, and on the other, I gotta deal with chicks with ridiculous attitude problems. Why? Why does it have to be like this?
Back to the sistas...
Now, when you're shooting me that mean hard look, hell yeah, my face hardens right back at you. When you stare me down like a psycho, I give it right back (although, nowadays I mostly just don't even look at most sistas too hard...for these same reasons). But I'm thinking "WTF is your problem"? Do you even know me? Guess what, girl..
I am NOT the enemy. I never was. And if you took the time to think, you'd realize that we have much bigger fish to fry than to be out here hating each other and trying to tear each other down with a sharp stare, acid look or snarky comment. There are plenty out here that would rather see us disappear completely off the face of the earth. We CAN'T be trying so hard to be enemies. Sometimes we are all we've got.
I've actually had discussions with other black female friends of mine about this, and it's something that happens with more regularity than we'd like to admit.
My friend Amina and I talk about this a lot. She gets it, too. And my girl is one of the nicest, friendliest people you'll ever meet. We just chalk it up to "bitches be hatin'". But seriously? What the f* for? I'm not a millionaire or some big star. I'm just another person out here trying to make it another day, week, month, and if I'm lucky, year of life. Just like you. So what's the damn problem? Trust me, it's not me. I'm not the one that's making your life hard. From what I see, you're capable of doing that all by yourself.
Get it together, black women that are out here acting out. You know who you are, and you need to stop. Uplift yourself, educate yourself, learn some better things to DO with yourself, and you won't be out here acting so damn silly.
Read more...
