Working With an Asshole - A Survival Guide

Ok, no matter who you are, or what you do, eventually you're going to end up having to work with one someday. An asshole. You might be working with one right now, or several, even, depending on what you do for a living.

I purposely chose a profession that allows me to not have to sit or be around the same folks all day every day to avoid people bullshit, but unfortunately, with the asshole population ever expanding by the day, hour and minute, occasionally, my luck runs out, and I still find myself in a "dealing with an asshole on my job" situation. Lovely!



I now have a new asshole! An arrogant jerk who's been at one of my work locations for a few months now.
Luckily, I only have to encounter this person once a week, but the kicker is, the person is a low level manager who could make just a bit of trouble for me in the form of getting the class I teach there reassigned to someone else, or take it over hmself, etc. He's rude, arrogant, and very unprofessional. At least to me he is. I have no clue how he treats other people.
I am the type who usually calls people on their rudenesses, but realize that in a work situation, you really have to pick your battles CAREFULLY. For me, it is seriously a case of "down, girl! Just let it go!" in certain moments when dealing with difficult, psycho people. Although I'm one who will usually call people on their bullshit, I can't do it here. It would be counterproductive and will only shine a bad light on myself as an employee. So, note to self: put ego aside, remain professional, ignore all the BS, do not feed into this person's negativity. At the end of the day, it's not about who's right or wrong; it's about keeping your livelihood intact. In other words, don't let some dysfunctional bozo cause you to lose your paycheck! Yep!



So.....I came up with a couple of defense mechanisms to help me totally block out any thought or reaction this rude person might make me want to have. First of all, when I'm done teaching my class, (he teaches right after me - there is no avoiding him), I don't dally, I pack my shit and get the hell out of there. I've even started ending class early to avoid any contact with him. I received a really mean, nasty look from this person yesterday, a look full of venom. I don't know why this is. Done teaching, I looked up from packing my work bag, and he was standing outside the room, leaning up against a wall, watching me with this mean, cold, deadpan look and an almost sneer on his face. Don't know what I did to incur THAT reaction, but okay. I'm not effin' with it, y'know? Maybe he's on medication or has mental problems. And (shudder) he's a manager!

Other than clearing out of the room quickly to avoid contact after my class is done, I have begun to sing a little song to myself (silently) as he and I cross paths. It's set to the tune of "Brass in Pocket" by the Pretenders. Here it is:

My ego - in pocket
I could fight you, but I ain't gonna do it
...Ignore you
Cause you're not worth it!
Gonna make you, make you, make you nothiiii-in'

You're a psycho
That much is clear
I don't know why..... and I don't caaa-aare
...Avoid you
And handle my business
Gonna make you, make you, make you nothiiii-iin-in'

Gonna use my mind
Gonna keep my head
Won't play your game
Cause I'm too crafty
Gonna be the win-ne-er-er
Gonna use my...my...my...determination
Ohh ohhhhh, cuz I'm
gonna make you seee,
you little asshole
you can't f*ck with meee-eee

I'm special, so special.....

Ok...that's about as far as I've gotten with the song! LOL! However, it only takes a few bars before he's no longer in my range. And you know what? When he says or does something assholeish, I play that little song in my head, and then I end up having to try not to smile! Because it's SO funny! And the last thing you ever want to do is to let a psycho see you laughing at him/her. Especially if it's a boss/manager psycho that can give you problems at the job! ;)

Next time you find yourself dealing with one of these types, make up a song or mantra to play in your head whenever they come near. Instead of getting mad, you might end up laughing your ass off! Works for me! :)