The Joy of Being Single....cont'd

Ha! Knew that would get your attention! ;) By the way, I changed the title so that Google doesn't think I'm up to some tomfoolery here... ;)

However, this IS more of a personal post, and not my usual offering of weight loss and fitness tips that you usually read here. Actually, this blog started out on a VERY personal note, and then somehow evolved into the fitness blog that it is now. Hey, might as well blog what you know, right?

Anyway, as I read a multitude of blogs out here before the holidays, I see that many of you are enjoying the whole family angle of these last days of the year. However, my family (the bulk of it) is in North Carolina, and I, at this time, am a happily single woman.
So. What do single people do during the holidays? Hmmmmm...? Wouldn't you married, house full of kiddies folks like to know? Maybe you could care less, but I'm gonna share anyway!

Before we go there, I first need to color in a few things. The FD (me) has been happily single for a while now. I was once married years ago, and have been divorced for over 10 years now. No regrets on the marriage or the divorce. It provided a great life experience for me, and my ex husband is a good person - we were just not the right people for each other. We figured that out after tying the knot. I wish him well. No bitterness on either side. He rocks, but I wouldn't marry him today if he were still single. We're just too different. Attraction, lust, need and curiosity at the right time and place brought us together. The reality of who we really are (and were) tore us apart.
Outside of that marriage, I was also later engaged to be married. That ended up not working out, and did end bitterly. C'est la vie.

I've been in both good relationships and bad ones. The bad ones, I got out of quickly. Always been a smart girl in that department. I, being the force of nature that I am, cannot be with anyone that is controlling, manipulative, disloyal, misogynistic, dishonest, incompassionate or insecure. I am kryptonite for those types of men, thank God! ;)

I don't ever want to be married again. Not that my marriage was bad. I just know who I am, and who I am is a person that LOVES being single. Having had a taste of both, I know exactly what works in my life. And being single is IT.

What I love about being single:

Being able to wake up whenever I feel like it
Not having to cook unless I want to
Not having to look sexy and cute until I feel like it!
Not having to worry when I gain weight, or hear about it
Having sex on MY time schedule (I know some of you ladies feel me on that!)
Not having to clean, wash dishes, do laundry or cook until I decide it's time
Always getting to watch ALL the shows I like on TV ALL THE TIME
Not having to pick up and clean up behind another grown person
Not having to answer questions about why I do anything that I do
Making decisions about my life and time without having to confer with ANYONE
Never having to explain - ANYTHING! ;)
Getting to eat what I want and like for breakfast, lunch and dinner EVERY DAY (and all day long)
Not having to hide in the bathroom or discreetly step into the next room when I get gas
Not having to worry or be self conscious when I get my period
On that note, being able to belch, fart, and just be all out GROSS when the moment dictates
Not having to entertain another's opinion on the direction of my life
Being able to have a cat, dog, or whatever the hell I want (my ex hated cats)
Not having to worry about what mood he's in, and why, what more I need to do to please him, the state of our relationship, or how to keep the excitement and magic alive.
No changing of diapers. For ANYONE, young or old.
Being so free and unencumbered that it should be illegal (and actually is for women in certain countries)
I could go on....

I feel blessed to be SINGLE! And that's no bullshit, folks. I tell you the complete, unedited TRUTH!

Now... I do keep a 'friend'.
A cool guy that has to travel for work once or twice a week. A banker, hanging on tooth and nail right now to his job. A good lookin', easy going, slim bodied, accomplished man that makes no demands on me, 'cause he can't. He's too busy in his career, jumping through hoops to keep his job, working to ascend the corporate ladder and please his bosses. And who accepts me just as I am. Doesn't try to change a thing about me. Is ridiculously excited to be with me when we're together, and has no hesitation about showing it. Will stay overnight, or leave if I ask. Is always a gentleman, no matter what. Gives me whatever I want when I ask. LOVE that!
I know I sound spoiled, but hey, I'm a Diva, remember? ;)

That's all I ever want on occasion! Someone who isn't up my ass about what I'm doing, where I'm going, where I've been and who I'm with when he's not here, and vice versa! The only commitment here is that of mutual respect. No expectations, no demands. And that's how I like it.
Our alliance works, and before him, there was another just like him. That one ended up moving to Cali. For his job. I purposely pick those types, because I know that I don't want to be in a relationship, and it works! ;)

I'm still human.... I DO like to have someone calling me and checking up on me at least once or twice a week, but just do not need that 24-7. Also, I'm a girly girl, and like to get sexy when the mood strikes (after I'm done blogging!). I enjoy having someone to be a little excited about. I like knowing that someone I feel the same way about is thinking about me occasionally, calling to check up on me, and salivating over the next time he sees me.
I LOVE being kissed. Being pursued... Being wooed a bit... WITHOUT all the baggage of a relationship.

I enjoy the anticipation and excitement of being with my guy 'friend', when those times come. Sometimes it's a casual meeting, and sometimes it's fireworks. Whichever mood strikes. We hang out, sometimes just chill, all around enjoy each other and then... we part ways, and it's out of my system, and can I go back to trying to conquer the world, my mind totally free and clear of emotional nonsense. I don't worry about the what, when, where and why of anything regarding him. I don't have to!

If all relationships really could be that simple, I'd have one, but they're not, and so I just have no desire to be in one. I come home at night, lock my door, plop down on my comfy couch and not one line of worry crosses my face. Except about the bills! ;)
People always ask why I look so young, what am I doing. "I stay single" is my reply!
You betcha! ;)

I like the dynamic that goes on between men and women. There are elements of it that I really enjoy. But just like at a buffet, I just prefer to pass on certain selections on that menu. Like, having to worry about what someone is thinking all the time. Now, here's the part where my mother would say "well, life is just not like that!". Well, for me, it is! I make the rules! ;)

I know that I'm a woman ahead of my time on that. Many of my friends are either married, looking to be married, or are in relationships that take up SO much of their energy and spirit that I pity them, actually.... Many of my girlfriends are in unhappy relationships, but are so afraid of being ALONE and MANLESS (the social stigma for women aka "what's wrong with you?"), that they put up with all kinds of crap just to be able to say that they have someone.... Sad. And NOT my cup of tea!
But a core few of us get it.... the joy of singledom! Being able to do it successfully and happily is an art. Only a few can master it. And I have...

So.... How will I be spending the holidays? A couple parties, a visit to my brother, his wife and my 2 nieces and nephew in the Bronx (my surrogate kids - I get to spoil them and be the cool auntie that teaches them how to roller blade, throw a football, snowboard and build their own websites), a couple nights with my banker friend, and a whole lotta optimism for the upcoming year! Who gets what I'm talkin' about here? Talk to me, single, happy people! Seriously! I'm gonna have me some balls to the wall fun over these holidays! Aren't you?

For all of you that are married, in relationships and enjoying the holidays with your children, know that I get that, too, and am not knocking it! Been there! It's just not for me!

However, I want to wish ALL OF YOU a MERRY CHRISTMAS and DAMN HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For me, the BEST is yet to come! I believe that with all my heart and soul.
Whether you're single, married, with a house full of kids, or still just figuring it all out....

Happy Holidays, everyone! :D